these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
