Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
