On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
