I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
