beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
