They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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