I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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