You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
