I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
