She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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