can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize