my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I can tuck mytits in my pants
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
