Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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