David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
