Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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