i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i came on her dog
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
