i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize