It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize