You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize