Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
