I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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