but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
