waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
