idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
