dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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