If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
