i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I fill condoms, not promises.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
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