I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i think i have two assholes
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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