Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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