hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
