I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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