whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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