i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
