Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
