I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
