I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
