I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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