moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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