Will you blow on my dice?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
