She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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