Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
