Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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