Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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