I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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