I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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