if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My nipple is on Facebook.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Randomize
