the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize