your thong is hanging out like whoa
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I can text with my tongue
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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