I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
