Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
