I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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