i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize