So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
