physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
