I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize