he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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