So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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