i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
