she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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