He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
