The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Your cock deserves a montage
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
