How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
