i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
