Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
handjob tips. give me some.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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