I could have mohawked her pubes.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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