So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
